I was condescended to by someone I love. I'm sure it happens all the time, the condescension, the perception of it. And I was angry. It the was usual futile kind of anger that is regularly interrupted by the people around you talking of mundane goings-on, perhaps unaware, almost certainly uncaring of your anger. They know it's a pointless transient thing.

I drove home and put on Dream Pop mix. Beach House, Airiel and Still Corners pleasantly wore me down and then Soft Stud by Black Belt Eagle Club began.

This is a song I've heard many times, yet this time it was beautiful.

I heard it not while cleaning around the house, enjoying some other activity, or doing anything routine. I heard it while thinking earnestly on my thoughts, trying to process my feelings, trying to think of short term and long term outcomes from how I react to this.

Wait by M83 was next and I was reminded of how I was moved by M83's earliest albums, by the din of Godspeed You! Black Emperor and World's End Girlfriend. Most days are routine and there is no space for beauty.

I didn't find a way out of my anger. I'm still processing that, but there's beauty in sadness and I was lucky to be witness to it.